In honor of this year’s Bi Visibility Week (September 19-26), Loud and Alive will be publishing pieces on different experiences of different people, all of whom identify as bisexual. Stay tuned!
Since today is the last day of this year’s Bi Visibility Week, we at Loud and Alive decided to bring you different experiences of different bisexual people – something we have promised to do for the last three days (and we hope we have succeeded). We have heard from Mel and Sydney in longer pieces, but here are the words of people who put their journeys in a few sentences.
They will make your heart swell anyway.
Paige: “I am unfathomably grateful that for me, being bi hasn’t been a big deal. I like girls too, because of course I do. Have you ever seen a girl? My friends and family have been supportive, and I didn’t feel the need to come out in a grand gesture or a singular defining moment. I just started talking about potential wives in equal measure to potential husbands. Identifying as bi was a process that started with me realising gender wasn’t that important to me, and that love didn’t need those kind of arbitrary boundaries. It didn’t feel right to try and make my heart smaller, if it had the capacity for such vast affection.”
Farah: “Being bi is like an adventure, at least for me, sometimes it’s fun and exciting and sometimes it’s sad and lonely. But the best thing is when you stumble upon another bi person on this grand adventure of ours. Then it’s great, like really great.”
Lily: “I’m still figuring it out myself, since I recently discovered that I am bi. I’ve never had any relationship (male or female). I’d always considered myself straight because I could envision myself in relationships with men, but not women, even if I could appreciate the beauty of women. Then I started watching The 100, and I could suddenly see myself having a relationship with Eliza Taylor. I began to reevaluate myself and my sexuality.
I realized that there were more women (not much) that I could see myself in a relationship with (too bad they are all not exactly available to me). Just last week on the train, though, I sat across from a girl/woman, and she had this really cute smile, and pretty hair and I was like “wow finally a person in my own country that I find attractive that way” because I’ve been having trouble with it.
Am I bi because I am bi? Or am I bi because Tumblr has been harassing me through posts and all that to be bi? Is it because I just don’t want to be straight because I don’t want to be associated with ‘the straights’ as they are represented on Tumblr?
But that train incident – even if I probably won’t ever see the girl again – really calmed me down because that’s when I realized that I was really bi. With a preference for men, but still bi.
Jen: “Being bi? Well, it was kissing a girl with deep blue eyes and feeling like I broke the surface of the water, exhilarating. It was hugging a boy and seeing the world come alive in his forest green eyes, grounding. Being bisexual is being unapologetic in who I decide to love.”
Rea: “My relationship with being bisexual is very complicated. I spent years denying to myself that I am attracted sexually and romantically to women. I used my attraction to men as a shield from the shame that was ingrained in me by the conservative, Catholic society I live in. That denial made my depression worse and the most liberating thing therapy gave me is permission to accept my sexuality. I still sometimes feel the need to hide my sexuality but I am no longer ashamed, I am proud and it has allowed me to be more compassionate and opet to different people.”
Phoebe: “Being openly bi, like any sexuality, is all about being honest with myself. I hear assumptions that bisexuals will date anyone, or that they are slutty, but for me, it’s always about being as honest as I can about who I am attracted to and who I’m not. Coming out had deepened and strengthened that honesty for me, and I have felt so much less internal pressure in thinking about who I want to date or sleep with vs who I “should”.”
Mari: “Being bisexual is my liberal mother confusedly saying: I don’t understand. You’ve liked boys before, remember? You told me about your crushes. You never mentioned girls.
Being bisexual is having this conversation with multiple friends when you get a boyfriend or a girlfriend: oh right, you’re into that now.
Being bisexual is my lesbian friend saying: I knew you weren’t straight. It’s alright, you’ll choose a side eventually.
Being bisexual is telling your friends you’re not experimenting, it’s who you are. It’s telling them often enough that they start responding it to others.
Being bisexual is your little brother sending you pictures of your favorite anti-heroes (Poison Ivy, Harley Quinn, Catwoman) with captions that say: look!! They like everyone too AND they kick ass.
Being bisexual is also kissing boys and kissing girls and everyone in between and beyond.”
A big thank you to all of those who have contributed to this article! The editors of Loud and Alive are so proud and so happy for you! Go forth and kick ass!