I have always been proud to be American, proud that the country I live in is open and welcoming and striving towards progress. That reality will never be the same again. I will not stand for the national anthem, I will not respect Donald and his elk, I am utterly disgusted by my country. The values I believe in, of liberty and respect and acceptance are not shared by many of my fellow citizens. And that hurts like Thor’s hammer just slammed into my gut a hundred times.
I went to bed with a pit in my stomach and tears in my eyes and I woke up the same.
I now know that what I want in life doesn’t mean shit. These next four years will the hardest years of my life and not just because I’m in college but because I am proudly Bisexual, Disabled, Jewish and Female.
For the next four years my very existence, every single time I act without fear, is a fuck you to Trump. By being here, by writing this piece I am showing Donald my middle finger.
I attend an all women’s college, I graduated an all women’s high school, I spent my summers at an all girls’ camp. I am a product of strong females, real, historical, in my life and fictional.
Hermione Granger taught me to speak, Hatshepsut taught me that I have power, my mom showed me that I can do my part in changing the world, Hillary Clinton showed me that adversity just makes us fight harder.
In honor of the women who are my friends, my peers, my teachers, I will speak.
In honor of the females who dared to fight against tyranny and oppression in fictional universes and the amazing authors who told those stories, I will write.
In honor of legacy left for me by the women who were stood for rights, by Hillary Clinton and Abigail Adams and Eleanor Roosevelt and Rosa Parks, I will fight.
I am just like my country, I’m young, scrappy and hungry and I will not throw away my shot – Lin Manuel Miranda, Hamilton
Today, I mourn the death of a dream. Today, I seek shelter in childhood books, in fictional universes where good always triumphs over evil. Today, I comfort. Today, I let myself be a child; I let myself be selfish, I let myself cry.
Tomorrow is a whole different story.
Tomorrow, I donate money to progressive causes. Tomorrow, I wipe my tears, I put on a smile and I pick up my pen. Tomorrow, I pull others up beside me. Tomorrow, I accept reality.
Tomorrow, I begin the fight for a better future.
Abby Sorkin is a bisexual college student who loves fandom, fanfiction and poetry. She is an angry passionate feminist. She hopes to write for TV and you can find her on Tumblr and on Twitter @ArrowsandDemons.